Twisted, Messed Up
by Maddeline Kirkland-Bonnefoy
Summary: When two of her best friends' lives go up in flames, Yue rushes to the hospital; later, she goes to visit one Agni sibling with the other. - Rated for subject matter and for themes mentioned later. Tentatively complete for now.
1. Look At Me

**...Not much to say here, other than this is a companion piece to "Quitting You," and is within the same universe as "This Old Coffee Shop," and "Of Epithets." Otherwise - GO KONEKO, GO! READ LIKE THE WIND! (No-one else bother trying to understand that. Because you can't.)**

**Disclaimer:_ Avatar: The Last Airbender_ isn't mine; it's Bryan and Mike's; Azuko, Zuko, and Iroh belong to them, too, though I wish I owned Azula times. Zhuo and Yue are mine, though technically Yue is Koneko's.**

* * *

In all honesty, being woken up at three in the morning on Saturday by one of her best friends, and then having her parents and brother semi freak out about it, was certainly _not_ how Yue had planned to start her weekend. Add that to the fact that said best friend had been one of the very first people called, when two of her other best friends lives had just gone to Hell in a hand-basket… Well, that just made things a hundred times worse. She hadn't even been calm enough, at the time, to laugh at Zhuo when she's shown up in pajama bottoms, sneakers, and a zip-up hoodie over her t-shirt, shoulder length black hair sticking up everywhere. She'd just stuck her feet in flats, grabbed her cell phone and a set of clothes, and reached for her keys; her older, taller friend wouldn't have it, though.

"No way," Zhuo had snapped, gripping her wrist and all but dragging Yue outside to her own car, "I'm not spending longer at the hospital because you crashed trying to get there in your current emotional state." Then she'd pretty much shoved the smaller, honey-brown tressed girl into the passenger seat of the sapphire Chevy Tahoe, and the fourteen (nearly fifteen) year old had had to wonder if either of them were in the right emotional state to drive anywhere period – let alone to the hospital one of their best friends had been admitted to at thee AM. Then she'd remembered that it was best to have Zhuo angry at the moment, since when she was mad, she tended to focus more on doing things right than usual.

The drive had been quiet, with Zhuo gripping the steering wheel so tightly that her knuckles were white, and with Yue trying not to freak out, or to think about how much Zuko might be hurt. Then, rather belatedly, she realized two things. For one, Zhuo hadn't said anything about Azula in all of this mess, and for two… Yue knew that the ravenette would rather have been rushing to be with Azula, had she not been the type to see to her friends before her own heart. Feeling slightly guilty, but mostly worried, she'd only been somewhat dismayed when her long-time best friend had shot down any attempt at conversation. Zhuo didn't want to talk, and when she didn't want to talk, it was like trying to get water from a rock to get her to open up. Then Yue looked closer, and realized that the older girl had the dark circles under her eyes that meant she hadn't been sleeping for a few days in a row, and wondered – more guiltily than before, but no less worried - how hard she was fighting to not go completely manic-berserk just then.

Even when they'd reached the hospital and been directed to the waiting room outside the ICU, Zhuo remained tense (well, about fifty times more tense than she normally was, anyway) and silent, and Yue… well, she was too busy worrying about Zuko just then to try and navigate the mine field that was her best friend's temper just then. One step wrong, and she'd be dealing with a manic _and_ pissed off Zhuo, something she really didn't have the emotional capacity for at the moment. About two hours after they'd arrived, at sometime around 5AM, the two were allowed to enter the ICU, and it took everything Yue had not to sprint to the room they were directed to. She had enough presence of mind, even in that moment, to know that that would have been a bad idea. (She'd figure out what was up with Zhuo – besides the fact that she was having a manic streak – later. Unless Zuko knew? Hm…)

All other thoughts, however, were tossed from her mind unceremoniously, when she finally saw Zuko. There were bandages all round his torso and arms, and she suspected around his legs as well, since she knew that burns didn't discriminate. It felt like her heart had turned to lead and her blood to ice, as she stood there, in that hospital room. For one horrible moment, she was reminded of when Zuko had received the burn which had nearly cost him the sight in his left eye, and her parents had brought her to the hospital to see him. (Ironically, Zhuo had been alone at that time as well, three years ago, but then again, when _wasn't_ the ravenette alone, if Azula weren't around?) She felt her knees give way, and knew that if said ravenette hadn't been there with her, she would have landed on the tiled floor hard. As it was, Zhuo caught her without a word and sat her in a chair. And then, a realization hit her hard, something that almost knocked the breath out of Yue.

Somehow, someway, somewhere along the line, over the years they had known each other, she had fallen for Zuko – and hard at that.

Thankfully, cruel as it sounded, Zuko woke then, and she was saved from having to further contemplate it. He was disoriented at first, but Yue put that down to the anesthetic still having some effect, combined with the pain medication that must have been coursing through his system. It took a bit, but finally, he was coherent enough to explain what had happened. As Zuko told the rather ghastly tale, it slowly became horrifyingly clear as to why Zhuo was acting the way she was, and why she hadn't said anything about the girl she loved. (Yue wasn't as scatter brained as some people thought; she'd probably known how the ravenette felt about Azula long before Zhuo even realized it herself.) It seemed that the older girl had concluded this, or at least something similar, when she had been called by Iroh, Zuko and Azula's uncle. Iroh had been called and informed first, but living in San Diego as he did, he knew that their friends were closer and would also want to be informed.

"And then she managed to pin me down," Zuko was recounting what he remembered extremely bitterly, Yue noted, and she got the feeling it wasn't just because his shorter-by-at-least-six-inches and lighter younger sister had always been stronger than he was, "but after the first few times she stabbed me… I don't really remember very much." Then he sighed, and winced as he shifted slightly. "Honestly, if there's anything I remember after that, I think it was when she set the house on fire." Well, there was less bitterness in that, at least; both siblings had had gone through far too much in that house (mansion) for either of them to feel too bad about seeing it go. Even – perhaps especially – Yue, who was more inclined to believe better of people than her jaded friends, understood that.

A tense, silent moment stretched, and then Zhuo muttered something about calling her parents, before leaving. A part of her mind registered that the black-haired girl would probably end up both fighting with and convincing her parents that she hadn't run away, but that was really nothing new, and a thought that was discarded, as her vision tunneled, and all she could see was Zuko, and the wounds that were the direct result of his little sister's complete psychotic breakdown. In a surge of bravery she couldn't quite fathom the root of, Yue reached forward and took Zuko's right hand in both of her own. They seemed both surprised by the action, but Yue was probably more surprised, when she spoke. After all, she was normally the shy one who blushed and stammered a lot; now… now she was calm and sure in her actions.

"This may be weird and random, but… God, Zuko, when Zhuo showed up at my house at 3AM and told me that you were in the hospital, and in critical condition… It left like someone had sucker-punched me." She paused for a moment, but didn't give herself anymore time to mull over her words; if she didn't say anything now… God only knew when she would have the courage to say something later. "I was so scared that for a minute there… For a minute, I couldn't breathe, couldn't think – my mind just kept playing it over and over again, what Zhuo had said: _Zuko's in the hospital. He's hurt, really, really bad. _And then… when my brain decided it wanted to work again… I…" Oh dear, she was starting to cry… "All I could think about, was what if you were hurt so badly that you died? What if you ended up in a coma and never woke up? And when I finally saw you… I… I realized… I lo – " Yue found herself rather unceremoniously cut off, but not in any sort of unpleasant way, when Zuko tugged her towards him, though it must have hut.

That was the first time he kissed her, and she knew she would never forget that moment for the rest of her life.


	2. Tied Together with a Smile

**Well, here's Part Two. Enjoy, people~ Disclaimers stand from chapter one, though I must again say that Noin isn't mine, since she's from Gundam Wing, which belongs to Bandai/Sunrise/Sotsu/etc.**

* * *

It was a rainy, frigid day in December, just two weeks before end of semester finals and Christmas/New Years break, when Zuko approached her with the proposition. Well, approached would probably have implied that he walked up and asked her, but as they were in the middle of advisory… well, that wouldn't have been, no pun intended, advised. Of course, since they were in the middle of Ms. Kelsey's advisory, looking like you were doing something was just as good as actually doing it, so note-passing was a common occurrence in that class. As per usual, she and Zhuo had been keeping a running note conversation going, as they got their own homework done (hers was due in the future; Zhuo's, as always, was due the next class period), and Zuko had merely intercepted their note sheet. While Yue hadn't minded too much, the ravenette had looked miffed, and then out-right refused to participate. The shorter female put it down to PMS, and didn't think too much of it.

_Sorry to barge in like this, but I wanted to ask you something._

She frowned slightly. Zuko hardly ever apologized, even to her; it was something the two Agni siblings had in common, and when one of them did… It meant they regretted their actions more than was normal, or they were nervous about something. (She ignored the little voice in her head saying that Azula _had_ been like that, but not even Zuko knew how much she may or may not have changed since _That Night_.) She quickly scribbled a reply.

_No need to be sorry, though I think we pissed Zhuo off… So, what was so important you couldn't wait until lunch to ask me?_

Passing the note sheet back, she smiled a bit at the tingles she got when their hands brushed momentarily. Though it had been a year, she still went to goo so easily, and she got the feeling she would always stay that way. Turning back to her history homework, Yue awaited Zuko's reply. When she received it, her frown returned.

_She's been pissy a lot, ever since… well, anyways, I'm going to see Azula this weekend, and I was wondering if you wanted to come with me?_

Her frown deepened, as she thought this over. It would be the first time that Zuko would visit his sister, after the events which had transpired just over a year ago, and she really didn't know how she felt about that. After all, having grown up close to the Agni siblings, she (and Zhuo, along with Mai and Ty Lee) knew what both Zuko and Azula had endured; she wasn't naïve enough to believe that any of them really knew the full extent of what the two had suffered, but it would have been the understatement to end all understatements, if one had simply said that business tycoon Ozai Agni, head and CEO of Agni Industries, was merely heavy-handed when it came to disciplining his children. _Especially after Ursa died,_ Yue noted with no small measure of bitterness, her gaze flicking to Zuko's scar. She had heard from Zhuo (even if the girl had never outright said as much) that Azula had suffered the same, if not worse, at her Father's hands. All this, added to the immense pressure she had seen firsthand on Azula's shoulders to be nothing short of perfect in everything she did, coupled with how violently her sanity had snapped… She could see why Zuko would be reluctant to go, as much as she also knew firsthand that he loved his sister, and why he would ask her to come with.

Her choice made, she set pen to paper, and responded.

_Depending on how quickly I can get my homework done, I should be free all weekend. What time were you thinking of going?_

* * *

At ten AM on a Saturday morning, Yue could have thought of _many_ other things she would rather have been doing, and yet, here she was, walking down the pale blue and black-and-off-white-tile-floored halls of St. Helen's Psychiatric Hospital. From what she knew, Azula had been transferred here from the psych ward at the local hospital as soon as Ozai had learned what had happened, but that didn't mean that she disliked the man any less. Oh no, it would take a _lot_ more than just providing his daughter the best medical care in the country for that, especially after all that he'd done to _cause_ Azula's mental breakdown in the first place. Thinking of that made her squeeze Zuko's hand instinctively, as they followed the tall, shockingly purple-haired and purple-eyed woman who had introduced herself as, "Doctor Lucrezia Noin, Azula's psychiatrist," but mentioned that she "preferred to be called Noin," as it was an old habit from her military days. When she felt Zuko return the squeeze, she let herself relax a bit, but that also turned her mind to the reason they were here at St. Helen's at all.

While Ozai had been cruel to Zuko beyond a shadow of a doubt, even Yue would have had a hard time saying that Azula had had it easier than her brother. Even biased to side with her boyfriend as she was, the honey-tressed junior would admit that she couldn't even have _begun_ to imagine what it must have been like for Azula to grow up thinking that her whole family hated her for one reason or another, and to have the only person who didn't simply molding her into his own personal little marionette. She'd watched – though admittedly Zhuo (and Mai and Ty Lee) had been closer in that regard – as Azula was placed under immeasurable pressure to succeed where her Father believed Zuko had failed, to be nothing less than perfect at all times, and she had watched as Azula's sanity had slowly crumbled under that pressure. Yue even remembered once, when she and Zhuo and Mai and Ty Lee had had a sleepover with Azula, that she had heard the girl crying in the bathroom, apparently worried beyond words that she would never be able to live up to what Ozai expected of her. At the time, she had thought that Azula had been sad that her Mother had died, as Ursa had passed away just months before this, and had decided to give her privacy rather than try comfort her.

Now she wondered how she could have been so blind, even if they had only been eight at the time.

As a whole, their visit to the occupant of Room Six in the Maximum Security Wing was a short, painful one. For the most part, Azula had simply gazed at them, her golden eyes dead. Her hair was still uneven from where Zuko had mentioned she had hacked at her bangs, and was worn open and haphazard. From what Noin had mentioned, she was kept mildly sedated most of the time, but that she would still react violently if her hallucinations riled her enough, hence the straight-jacket she wore, so she couldn't hurt herself. While Zuko had awkwardly talked about what had happened since _That Night_, Yue found herself searching those dead, yet half-crazed golden eyes, looking for the girl she had used to know. She looked for the pretty, cunning, but never really malicious little girl she had first met. She looked for the more cruel, but occasionally kind, and fast-becoming-a-beauty (in her own dark, half-Chinese way) adolescent she had survived middle school with. And then she looked for the charming, daring, sharp-tongued, unapologetic-about-her-sexuality, holier-than-thou, and so smart it was almost ridiculous teen she had braved freshman year with. She didn't find any of those girls, and she almost feared this visit had been a waste.

Yue wished that it had been, in the moment that Zuko mentioned Ursa.

It had taken a little bit, for the words to fully register with Azula, but when it had finally happened… all Hell broke loose. Later, when she and Zuko were having their bruises and bite marks attended to in the infirmary, she couldn't help wishing, selfish and cruel as it might have been, that her boyfriend didn't care about his sister as much as he did – or, at least that he hadn't mentioned his Mother. Then they wouldn't have been in this mess. But then her compassionate nature broke in and berated her; if _they_ didn't care about Azula, then _who_ would? Ozai obviously had only put her in here to save face, and Iroh… Yue sighed. So much as she liked the old man, with his tea and anecdotes and easy laugh, she would be the first to admit that if he had been asked to choose between his brother's children, the choice would not have been a hard one for him to make. It wasn't a cruel or snap judgment on her part; it was a fact that all of them knew, but no-one wanted to put to voice. That said, only the three (five, if Mai and Ty Lee were included) of them were left to care what happened to Azula, here in what Yue knew was probably her own personal Hell.

Azula had been tied together with a smile, but she'd come undone, and now it was up to them to put her back together, if only because no-one else would.


End file.
